what’s about 18 square feet large.
share the happiest and saddest thought.
snuggle up when i am tired.
read the newspaper with.
the occasional games.
have meals with.
SABBY OUT!
… was listening to Orianthi’s According to You
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Trackbackhello my wordpress blog…
… it has been quite sometime since we interact. I am sorry. i have been secretly writing in my moleskine dairy and private tumblr. why? well moleskine is good for happy thoughts as it allows me to plaster physical evidence of happy happy thoughts and tumblr cos’ it allows me to blog while lying on my bed with my iPod and he has this “share private” option.
As time passes you seem to be a journal of sad thought instead of happy thoughts and happenings; that’s really sad- this blog was built on the foundation of happy thoughts and happenings. You served me well as an escape from reality. A reality that is sad and depressive. I used to only write happy thoughts on this blog as it is as though i choose to only remember the happy.
Either way, i have finding it harder and harder as time pass to pretend to be happy when i am around my friends. And i am exhausting places of asylum where i can hide and break from the world. First i confined in you, my wordpress with selective memory. Then as depressive thoughts creep in to you, another vent comes up- the gym.*
*post note: actually on second thought there was this period when i treated alcohol and the clubs dance floor as my vent. but that didn’t last long, too much drama in clubs to be an appropriate vent.
Whatever nonsense i gave my friends about why i go to the gym is merely a variant of the truth. The gym to me is a great place to escape from reality. Four times a week, i get at least an hour of me time. Nobody to please but myself. With weights and reps are my only worries.
But now even the gym is no longer my safe asylum it once was.
I used to gym right after work at camp. but ever since i became “operationally ready” hitting the gyms became part of my day rather then post day break, somehow i guess that affected my psychic and i start worrying about the things before and after my workout. it no longer became that peaceful place where i was an anonymous scrawny boy. no longer could i just lock myself in the changing rooms, take a sit and breathe (people outside must be wondering what’s this boy doing inside for so long)- instead i would be rushing to complete my workout (constantly checking the time), light shower before i rush off to my next appointment.
right now. i am hoping school that’s starting in march will be a new asylum. though i fear classroom politics- oh gawd.
enough about asylums.
u know what i lost my train of thought. ~massive headache and lightheadedness.
SABBY OUT!
… was listening to Miley Cyrus’ Fly on the Wall
Comments rss Trackbackhere’s to being 20…
—-
… of course… the race to the midnight is funnest… where the cell wld vibrate at every single text received.
but no. it didn’t.
i removed my birthday off my facebook profile.
instead only a couple (… and i do mean 2) text me…
but it was sweet one of them had “count down timer” that came with every reply.
if you are reading this (i doubt) thank you. every text made me smile =]
—-
i always predicted 20 wld be a year of depression.
it is true.
… as it turns out.
(read on)
—
the morning started relatively emo.
just negative comments from people… including some from my ‘best friend’
(my ‘best friend’ didn’t mentioned anything abt my b day… guess he forgot abt it)
bitch.
—-
the day didn’t get any better… i was denied entry at my gym… some computer bug apparently…
they noticed it was my birthday… but didn’t wish me anything.
they had cake at the counter. they didn’t offer it to me either.
bleh.
—-
the workout was equally bad.
my max weights for a 12 rep set was 35% lighter… zzz
and the gym took away the 2.5kg and 1.25kg weight plates… boooooo! >.<
the only good thing was… that emo emo made me ran faster on the treadmill.. i did a new record 08:57 for my 2.4… two seconds faster then my previous record (months months ago).
oh and i lost 3 kg… severals months of mass and strength gaining efforts.
gone.
—-
after gym i met some friends for dinner.
at a ‘well queued’ restaurant at mandrain gallery.
it was way over rated… the broth is ladened with flavour enhancers.
sucks.
—-
zzz… emo emo… will it continue for the rest of my “age/20″?
emo.
—-
sabby out!
… was listening to GaGa’s Telephone
Comments rss Trackbackmy school mate… wrote his ORD-slash-leaving-singapore letter on facebook..
this is what he wrote about me:
in school, i always thought he was abit cold to me… and thus thought he dislike me =/
… and to receive a thank you note from a person that i though dislike me
made me, tear.
for today i learn, prejudice and assumptions are very bad things =,[
darn. i regret.
for the record, i did admire his papers. his papers are incredibly well written.
SABBY OUT!
… was listening to DJ Collete’s Feelin’ Hypnotized (Black Liquid Remix)
Comments rss Trackback Comments rss Trackback… it has been a while since i cam whore
but it’s a nice thing to do… to end my first ’social rest day*’ in quite a while
did quite a bit… in a down tempo pace…
woke up late… ran around the estate… had a nice breakfast… took the longer but more scenic route to orchard… got a message… my hair cut… tasty-yummy lunch… learn a few dance moves for bad romance… got lost in time- in a bookstore… baked cookies when i got back…
*social rest day: a day celebrated by sebastian with a simple ‘me’ time. no social interaction. just him and probably starbucks.
SABBY OUT!
… was listening to Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance (and i still think it is an awful song)
Comments rss Trackback****, i am starting to develop feelings for someone i never thought i would.
what should i do?
help.
SABBY OUT!
… was listening to Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance.
Comments rss Trackbackmy driving test is tmrw… zzz
bet i wld fail… hahaha
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i just read the handmaid’s tail tale
… to be honest i dislike the book’s initial few chapters.
after… it got interesting… not the plot though… the plot was still terribly irritating* but i enjoys the themes that were being brought for…
*irritating: in the sense that… the plot didn’t make economic sense and logic…. so it was really hard for my mind to accept the plot.. and be immerse in it…
I only enjoyed the book … like really enjoyed the book… at it’s closing chapter… then suddenly it all make sense… the chapters before that were all just this piece of artifact that this people in the year 2154(?) found… and there are trying to interpret it … suddenly my yearning for the book grew… LOVE IT LOVE IT…. cos’ it stimulate this deconstructive male brain i have…
i read the final text for like 4 times over…. hahahaha
however a few things within the tale struck me really deep….
like how no matter what we do trying to achieve a classed but equal society… our human tendencies are to have some people have a “more equal” share…
and better does not mean better for all… but rather… better for some… like capitalism for example…
and the most important is… normal is defined only by what we are used too…
this to me… though i already know… got me really thinking again… about how social norms are just status quo..
oh yes… and love…. how it is not just a commitment… but rather an emotion… that when feelings and warmth is removed… u can’t force love in it…
well that’s my take on the book…
… for now… i think it wld be part of my favourite list…. but only because of its last chapter…
i still prefer brave new world.. haha
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my apartment is having some refurbishing works… so i am staying at my mum’s friend apartment… suddenly the ease and importance of a home of ur own hits u… hmm
[like u wldn't get ur dad or mum looking over ur computer screen... since i have to use my macbook at the dinning... zzz]
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“so fit, so cute”
heeeeeeh…. happy happy
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a friend’s blog has this recent entry:
musings #1… should i really go get my right eye to be double eyelid? or should i make my left eye single eye lid…
predicament #2… tan… i like being tan too…. but should i use sunless tan or just embrace the sun! (and along with it the harmful UV rays) =D
encouragement #3… everyone seem to prefer built up vs. anorexic size zero
i am encouraged to dropped my aspirations of being size zero… and return my former liking for (almost) all things sports… hahaha… still rmbring the times when i run to either run around or play hockey the moment the school bell rings… haha
and yes that means i am dropping my zero carb diet as of today 3 months ago… (happy to say i am no longer 50KG but 56 
savings plan #4… i should save up to get my teeth realigned… sighhh….
target #5… join mister singapore when i have done all #1- #5…
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i rsvp’d for a halloween party…. but i got no costumes to wear… zzz
any help?
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i went to a wedding recently… had tie trouble… sighhh….
i wonder i wld be lucky to have my own… one day
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from my 1st (proper) relationship i learnt that the common goals in life is very very important… without it… it’s hard to make it work…
from my 2nd relationship i learnt that sweet talk is deadly……….. very deadly…. and not only common goals are important but common interest and along with it… the ability to interact with each other seamlessly….
and also learnt that how anyone is brought up… reflects how the person judges things…
my 3rd relationship… sigh… well… keep a watch on this space… i have said no to poeple… and people a person said no to me…. its really hard to find someone with common goals and common interest…
and that to me makes the difference between a friend and that someone special… esp. the common goals in life… for i would wish to make decisions together with that someone… and if our goals differ it is hard…
___
p.s. i have a fetish for intelligence… wahahahha
___
over lunch… a friend was telling me how difficult it is to find the right person… he too wanted to find someone who is hardworking and intelligent…
then again he’s attached and i am not…
but he rants about how he’s partner is such a workaholic that… they in the relationship as though for name sake…
which made me wonder… if i like a person because of common interest and goals… wouldn’t it become of a business alliance rather then the warmth love that is portrayed in movies?
i am still thinking about it till today….
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oh yes… all this talk about common goals… blah blah blah… has its exceptions… like i don’t really know my crush well to say for certain about common goals… but i still get that jittery feeling when my crush ard… hahahhahaha
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so anyway… i am severely pondering if relationships are just an alliance…. and the lovey-dovey stuff is just disillusions set by the media we see…
… then again.. if that is true… y are we drawn to it?
so there must be some truth yeaaaa?
____
how does one tell the difference between friendliness and flirting?
good luck my ass.
(private joke)
where should the line be drawn? hmm
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oh dear… it’s almost 11… i shld be sleeping for tmrw’s test… nighttttttts! =]
… SABBY OUT!
was listening to the tick-tocks of the kuku clock
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i was invited to a mid autumn celebration @ Hua Song Museum.. thanks to omy.sg and national heritage board =D
and it was super fun!
Hua Song Museum is within Haw Par Villa… and let me tell u a secret… i didn’t even know Haw Par VIlla was operational until Friday night…
like my good friend marco (who went to the celebration with me)… we are both decedents from china… but our great grand parents decided to make this archipelago our new home…
[and from this museum i also learnt y... apparently.. if either of our great grand parents returned to the 'closed door' china they risk being beheaded]
the only difference is that marco’s ancestors decided to stay in indonesia while mine decided singapore was a cooler and more a happening place… wahhahah
the celebration was really cooooool…. nhb organized like food and activities for all of us… which was really nice of them…
though on regular nights it would most probably be less that… but the museum would still be a decent place to go..
WHY?!
cos’ the museum is not those ’look @ artifacts’ kinda… but rather have this simulator approach where the museum is built to make u feel or at least interact with the past… this i think is unique to Singapore’s museum (think in the lines of our national museum’s living gallery)… or it could be the government is not budgeting enough money to buy the artifacts
and that’s what i absolutely love about singapore’s museum…
they try really hard to make it a living place and you can interact with the stories & personality of the gallery’s.. and not just stay a distance and faint appreciation of something we do not feel the connection for
Here are ’some’ pics & vid that were taken… =D
LIKE me MAKING mooncakes! =D
or calligraphy fun!
and YES! even lantern making! =DD
making a ‘fly thru’ of a building model
cam whoring within the museum
___
see! haha… told u visiting the museum is uber fun! haha =D
it’s not just observing aged artifacts… but having fun interacting and learning with what’s the origins of what’s living
and that was just one of the smaller museums in singapore! woooT!
SABBY OUT!
… was listening to Britney’s 3 [Amaya & Alikstae Remix]
Comments rss Trackbacki am in my mum’s room.
her hospital room. blogging.
she just completed her surgery.
the surgery was good, no complications- as of now.
for that, i am happy.
i guess i owe the surgeon a thank you- though he’s charging.
i am glad the room proved to be very comfortable for my mum to recover.
in fact i think it is nicer then my own room… zzz
thank god for insurance.
on a irrelevant note, her ‘neighbour’ in the hospital is the head of a royal family from a neighbouring country.
strange things u learn over hot chocolate at the ward’s lounge.
my mum comments that she in great discomfort.
i watch my dad, with the help from the team of ’super’ nurse, looked after her. so interesting.
i thought of that over ron’s ranting on the phone about yearning.
i saw that reflected in my dad, so readily to help my mum and to try his best to appease her.
perhaps that reflects the shadow of having a partner in life works.
suddenly. i won’t mind having a long term partner, a thought that frightens me formerly.
though my flamboyant demeanour say otherwise, i always have this desire to look after someone and not vice versa (blaming it on primitive male instincts)- but the long term commitment scares me.
after seeing what my dad did for my mum. perhaps long term commitment isn’t half as bad as feared.
now, i think it is pretty darn sweet, and it invoked in me the desire to ‘yearn’ for someone- for a life time =]
hmm. shameful me, i manage to write something about my mum to some thing about me. like always- i’m self centred. =/
i love my mum.
SABBY OUT!
… was listening to the echoes of the air conditioning unit and the clickings of my keyboard.
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